Our Own Kids

First of all, I want to say how blessed we have been by so many of you- your encouraging words, how you have shared in our excitement, and how you have prayed for us. We are so incredibly blessed, and we don’t take it for granted!

We have spent so many hours researching, filling out paperwork, sitting in a psychologist’s office, all to be approved as parents. We are preparing ourselves, making our home ready, our lives ready, and most importantly our hearts ready to be parents. I do know I can’t ever be completely prepared, I’m fully aware of that, but we are getting ourselves as ready as we can. But there was one thing I thought I had prepared myself for, but keeps taking me by surprise. It’s just one simple question.

“But do you want any of our own kids?” or maybe “Don’t you want to have your own kids first?”

Here’s the thing. I get it. Well kind of. People just naturally think of beginning their family by having biological kids- and there’s nothing wrong with having/wanting biological children. I mean the Bible says, “be fruitful and multiply” and God promised to make Abraham a great nation- and He did by giving him a son, and many generations. All children are an incredible blessing. The thing that is wrong is the thinking that somehow adopted children are somehow lesser than biological children. Most people probably wouldn’t say that, or maybe they aren’t even thinking it consciously, but to equate “own” with biological is doing just that. It is lessening the relationship of parents with their children who were adopted.

This baby is our own baby.

We don’t know them yet, but their presence is felt in our life. The evidence of their place in our life is seen by the home study sitting on my table waiting for its final stamp, by the empty space in their bedroom waiting for a crib. But more than that, I feel it. It’s the change in my heart, the way it longs for them, the way I worry if they are being held, cared for, loved, and protected. The way that I pray for them, pray that they would come home quickly, pray that they would have someone who cuddles them until I can, pray that someone would show them that love until I can.

Because you see this isn’t just some random baby that I pray for, this is my baby. My own baby.

“Whether or not you can have biological children really has nothing to do with the Christian’s call to orphan care. Further, we don’t see adoption as merely a plan B and only for parents who can’t have biological children. Rather, we see both orphan care and adoption as expressions of practical Christianity.”


Please know, my desire is not to bash anyone, or to make people feel badly about what they may have said to others, but simply to share my heart. I believe that we have been adopted into Christ’s family, that He recognizes us as His sons and daughters, His own sons and daughters, not as something lesser. I also believe that adoption into our families here on earth is a picture of that which He did for us.

  1. Pam said:

    Wow Bethany! This brought me to tears! God is given you both such a good heart and will bless you so much with this baby as you will be such a blessing to him/her! I will be praying for you all!
    Pam Brown & family!

    • nacope said:

      thanks Pam for your sweet comments! So excited for you and for another sweet girl to come into your family!!

  2. Danielle said:

    Beautifully put Bethany. We are praying for you both and your baby, and you will be wonderful parents!

  3. Katie said:

    Bethany, I just love hearing these words which come straight from your beautiful and sweet heart. Your baby is among the most blessed babies to be loved by you and Nick. I cannot wait to meet your little one. I already want to hug and kiss him/her!! I love you Bethany! I’ve been praying for you and your baby and I will continue too! Love you so much.

  4. Carrie said:

    Very true words. Excited for you guys!

  5. Al & Dian Hammar said:

    God musta told you what to say cuz it was almost to kind. You hit a home run. We all love you all “you, Nick, and your baby”

  6. You are both wonderful.And I love my “own” son Caleb as much as I love my own daughter Lauren.And you know I would have had more had it been God’s will! Love you

  7. i love reading your newsletter, it breaks me heart to see orphans, i see this everyday in my office…….i am so very happy for both of you and i thank you for sharing. i am looking forward to how God is going to unfold this beautiful life or lives into your lives…..what wonderful parents you will be. God Bless you as he continues to unfold His plan

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